What does success look like to you?

If you haven't clearly defined it, how will you know when you've achieved it?

As you’re reading this, I’m waking up in my parent’s guest room to another lazy day, wiping the sleep from my eyes, dreaming about the brioche French toast we had for breakfast yesterday, and trying to decide what I can possibly make today that can ever compare with such a decadent — but delicious — memory.

I slowly roll out of bed and head downstairs, where I’m greeted by Fitzwilly, my parent’s mini-Labradoodle, who thinks my only reason for being is to feed him, and to throw him a ball in my parent’s spacious backyard, where we’ve played catch every day since I first got home.

The sun is just starting to rise, and it’s peering through the tall pine and cedar trees behind our neighbor’s house. The morning dew turns to steam, and it rises to greet the new day.

Somewhere in the distance, I can hear birds welcoming the morning sun.

I see my dad in his office, his head bowed in prayer. No doubt, mom is bowing her head as well, as she awakes and prepares to face the day.

The house is quiet, but warm. Everything looks pretty much the way it did a year ago when I left for Lubbock. The clock in the entry still needs its battery replaced…

I’ve been on “vacation” for almost three weeks now. (I say “vacation” because I’m still working, but on a very limited schedule; just enough to earn my keep, but not enough to prevent me from enjoying this time with Mom and Dad.)

It’s the first time I’ve seen them in almost a year, and we’ve had a lot of catching up to do.

I’m fortunate that I’m in a position where I can just hop on a plane, spend three weeks hanging out with Mom and Dad, work 2-3 hours a day (tops)… and not have to worry about “playing catch up” when I get back home, because 2-3 hours of work a day is typically all I need to, to support my current lifestyle.

Some would say I’m lucky to be in this position, but luck doesn’t really have anything to with it. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and now, that hard work is paying off.

I have finally, for the first time in 20 years, found my “success.” And what’s amazing is, it doesn’t look anything like I thought it would.

Growing up, I always had an image in my mind of what “success” has to look. It changed and evolved as I grew, but it always included certain elements, such as:

• a prestigious career

• impressive job title

• college degree

• 6-figure income or more

• a house in an expensive neighborhood

• perfect “Sunday morning” family

• great hair (I never dreamed I’d start losing mine in my 40s)

• all kinds of people looking up to me

I could go on but I think that gets the idea across.

I never imagined success could be as simple as:

• doing something you’re proud of, regardless of what it pays

• making enough money to cover your bills and stay out of debt

• building memories with people you love

Yet today, that’s exactly what I’ve achieved… and if I didn’t know that it’s okay for success to look like that, I wouldn’t be waking up to a lazy day… happy that I just have all my bills covered… and that I get to spend a working holiday hanging out with Mom and Dad, just doing whatever…

Instead, I’d be up all night, stressing out because I haven’t hit a specific dollar amount… worried that I’m not “crushing it…” telling myself I’m nowhere near successful enough to just randomly take a three-week trip… when I could be spending this time trying to push through to the next level…

And I’d miss out on so much of what matters to me, and what I want my life to be about, because I’d be chasing some image of success that isn’t even mine in the first place.

Mind you, I do have money and career goals that are larger than what I’m currently achieving — but because my definition of success is “being able to do what I like and having enough money to pay my bills,” I’m already succeeding.

I don’t have to achieve those bigger goals in order to “finally make it.” By my definition, I’ve already made it. Now, I get to pursue those goals with the expectation that doing so will add to what I’ve already achieved.

But I’ve already achieved my definition of success. And as long as I can remember that, I don’t have to live up to somebody else’s.

It’s so easy to get caught up in what somebody else thinks success is supposed to look like — but doing so will never satisfy you.

Look, maybe for you, success is the big house, and the fancy degree, and the impressive job title… and if it is, that’s exactly what you should be working towards. There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things.

But if that’s not your image of success… you owe it to yourself to figure out what your success really looks like.

(And if you know what success looks like to you, I’d love it if you’d share in the comments, or reply to this email and share that image with me personally.)

You don’t want to miss your success and happiness because you’re too busy chasing someone else’s. Life is too short, and it’s just not worth it.