Make money money, make money money money
Not saying money is the only thing I want... but I am saying, maybe it's okay if I do want more. Maybe it's a good thing to want more money, if you wanna use it to do more good in the world.
I want it so badly, it’s making my stomach hurt
I want to start making money.
I don’t know why, but just writing that out makes my stomach hurt. I have a headache, my eyes are getting blurry, and I don’t know if I wanna cry, or throw up.
Possibly both.
I will do anything to avoid the thoughts and feelings that are coming up right now, around the subject of money. I don’t even want to sit and journal about this; it’s just too much. The discomfort is more than I want to take on.
I can feel it overpowering me.
Making me doubt myself, making me question, not only my values — but my very existence.
It’s telling me: stop this.
You don’t need to pursue money. You don’t need to work through distress. You don’t need to open this curiosity door.
But the door is already open. There’s no turning back.
The door I can’t close
I’ve spoken my money desires into the Universe. I’ve prayed for God to open the path before me, and show me how to make money — and to make it ethically. I couldn’t close this door now if I wanted to.
Last month, I wrote two simple prompts in ChatGPT to help me get more out of my journaling: one prompt to analyze each journal entry I provide, and a second one to review the entries every week, and show me the patterns, emotions, and emerging themes. I wrote these prompts for myself, because I need extra help sorting my life out.
But as I was refining the two prompts, I realized: there’s something valuable here. Something that could help not just me, but anybody who wants deeper insight into their own thought process.
I realized I was creating something that other people could use in their lives.
I realized I was creating something that has real value… and that I could charge money for it, and people would gladly pay.
This was the first time in my life that’s ever happened to me.
Building something I believe in
I’ve finished refining the prompts, and am now beta testing the whole process (which, btw, means I also had to learn how to run a beta test! Go me.)
I had to rewrite the prompts for the beta test, so they’d be simple, clear, and ready for anyone to use.
I had to think through and build a step-by-step guide for a user who I’ll never meet, and whose only instructions will come from the documents I’ve created.
I had to make sure that everything is so easy to use and to understand, that anyone who buys my prompts can be guaranteed that, if they use them, they’ll get the desired result.
I think the hardest part of that all, honestly, was the prompts.
They work great for me — but I knew what I was doing with them. I knew what I wanted them to do, and I knew how to write them for my own, private use, with GPT’s assistance. But to rewrite them to be ready for someone who doesn’t know how they work (and, doesn’t want to know how, but simply wants them to work)…
That was a challenge.
But I got it done, and I sent it to my first tester, believing in what I’ve assembled and what it can do to improve the way people practice self-awareness, discovery, and reflection…
And suddenly, this little thing I built for myself felt real. Like something other people could actually use.
I started to believe in what I’ve created. And now, I’m ready to stand behind it one hundred percent.
I’m certain it can compete with other $20-30 downloads. It might even become part of a course or a live program I could offer for a few hundred dollars! Or maybe a monthly subscription to a Zoom journaling party, where I help other people learn these skills and get better results from their journaling.
I’ve been searching for a way to make money like this since 2018, when I first found the freelancing community. I’ve had seeds of ideas before, but none of them have ever taken root.
Even now, I’m wishing I could just make all the money I need from my newsletter, and from donations to the Resilient Veteran Alliance. But that’s not happening (at least, not yet).
In my gut, I know this journaling system is an in-road for me, to financial success.
And I don’t even know why, but that knowing makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry, because my whole life, I’ve believed I won’t ever be financially successful… and now I’m taking action in that direction! And it’s a small step, on the one hand, but on the other hand it kinda makes me wanna go jump off a bridge. (A low bridge, though, like two feet off the ground or something…)
Rewriting my old beliefs
The more time and energy I put into this journaling system, the more I’m moving towards the thing I’ve convinced myself I can never have — and now, if I want to have it, I have to work through all my objections. And I know as I clear them away, I’ll be able to see this opportunity more clearly. But still, it’s such hard work just to clear them away.
It’s so hard to let go. Even when I know these old beliefs are keeping me stuck, I still feel like I need to defend them!
Like, “If I’m this afraid of money, there must be a reason!” And then I just leave it at that, instead of asking myself what the reason is.
(I think it’s because I’ve never been good with managing money in the past, so I’m afraid if I do make a ton of it, I’ll just waste it all and I’ll still be in the same exact boat I’m in now, only with more regret over the new money I gained, and threw away on useless garbage. But there may be other reasons as well, that I haven’t uncovered yet.)
If I were to sit down and examine all these feelings, I might find out that the reason I’m keeping myself stuck isn’t a good reason, after all. And I might come face to face with some beliefs that don’t even align with my values… or worse, don’t even align with reality.
One false belief I know I have about money: People who want it are greedy and selfish.
I entered that into ChatGPT, and asked it to help me rewrite that belief. This is what I got back,
“Money is a tool, and in the hands of someone kind, self-aware, and purpose-driven, it becomes a force for healing, generosity, and good. Wanting money doesn’t make me greedy. It means I want the resources to enable me to do the work I’m called to do.”
I have to say, in this instance, I much prefer GPT’s take on money.
Maybe if I just journal on this all a bit more, I might be able to find more beliefs I can rewrite.
I might be able to let go of whatever’s keeping me stuck, and I might actually change my whole future.
I might change the way I think about money, about my own abilities, even about myself. I might learn to believe that I add value to other people’s lives. I might truly see myself as someone who goes about, doing good wherever I go. I might develop confidence in my ability to help other people — and provide for myself.
I’ve been afraid of this door my whole life. But I’m done hiding from it. I’m ready to open it, and see what’s waiting for me on the other side.
Rewriting your money story
If reading this stirred anything uncomfortable in you — good. That discomfort? It’s just old beliefs rising to the surface, asking to be seen. You don’t have to fix it all today. But you can take a small step toward rewriting the story.
Here’s how to begin:
1. Name the fear
Write down the first thought or feeling that comes up when you say:
“I want to make more money.”
Don’t censor it. Even if it feels silly, selfish, greedy, impossible — get it out of your head and onto the page. Naming it takes away some of its power.
2. Find the old belief
Ask yourself:
What belief is hiding underneath that fear?
For example:
“If I have more money, people will think I’ve changed.”
“Wanting money makes me greedy.”
“I’ll just waste it like I always do.”
It’s okay if you’re not sure — just notice what feels true, even if it’s uncomfortable.
3. Rewrite the script
Challenge that belief with a kinder, more honest truth.
If you’re stuck, borrow this:
“Money is a tool. In the hands of someone kind, self-aware, and purpose-driven, it becomes a force for healing, generosity, and good.”
You can use that, or write your own. The goal isn’t to fake positivity — it’s to anchor yourself in possibility.
4. Take one brave step
What’s one tiny action you could take that moves you toward more financial freedom?
Journaling on your money fears
Researching a skill you could sell
Asking someone how they overcame their money blocks
Saying out loud, “I want to make more money — and that’s okay”
It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just let your actions start to align with your new story.
You’re not stuck. You’re just standing at the door. And you’re allowed to walk through it — when you’re ready.
Self-reflection: what’s your money story?
Take your time with these.
You don’t have to answer them all at once. Let them sit with you — journal, ponder, or just notice what rises.
1. What’s the first word or feeling that comes to mind when you think about making more money?
(Don’t overthink it — just notice your gut response.)
Write your answer.
2. What beliefs did you grow up with about people who have money?
(Were they generous? Greedy? Powerful? Dangerous?)
Write your answer.
3. In what ways have those old beliefs shaped your own money choices — or your fear of success?
Write your answer.
4. What would having more money allow you to do — for yourself, your family, or your community?
(Be honest. It’s okay to want both comfort and impact.)
Write your answer.
5. What’s one small belief about money you’re ready to rewrite today?
(It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just one old story you’re willing to loosen your grip on.)
Write your answer.
Wherever you land with these questions, you’re allowed to take your time.
Unlearning is slow work. But it’s sacred work, too. And you’re doing great.
Final Thought
Most of us grow up believing that wanting more money makes you selfish, greedy, or just plain wrong.
We’re taught that good people should be content with what they have. That wanting more means you’re never satisfied. That money changes people — and not for the better.
But what if that’s not the whole story?
What if wanting more isn’t about greed… but about growth?
What if it’s about finally believing you deserve stability — that you deserve to have your needs met without scraping by or sacrificing yourself in the process?
What if it’s about creating enough room in your life to rest, to give, to breathe… to do good in the world without burning yourself to the ground just to survive?
I’ve been carrying the weight of my old beliefs for a long time. And maybe it’s time to lay them down. Maybe it’s okay to want more — not because I’m greedy, but because I’m ready.
Ready to build something that lasts. Ready to rewrite the story. Ready to believe that when good people have more, they can do more good.
What old money story are you still carrying? If you’re ready to lay it down — or even just look at it honestly — I’m right here with you.
Let’s rewrite this chapter together.