How do you set your goals?
Also: does it matter WHAT your goals are? Or does it only matter that you have goals
I’ve finally started working on my 2025 goals.
(I used to set resolutions on New Year’s Day like everyone else, but then I found out that most people quit their resolutions before the end of January. So now I don’t do it on that day anymore!)
But no doubt, I’ll still have it all written out by… oh, late February… okay maybe March. 😂
I’m curious to know how you set your annual goals… but first, I wanna share what I’m trying this year, and how it’s different from what I’ve done in years past.
Like a lot of people, I used to set very detailed, specific SMART goals every year.
I used to think the more specific, the better. And maybe for some people, that approach works. But I gotta tell you, it’s never worked for me.
I always end up with really big, bold goals like, “Grow my readership to 1,000,000 total subscribers and be the most talked about author on Substack!”
Which, I mean… is possible…
But probably not when you’re starting the year with 150 subscribers, and less than half of that amount actually read your newsletter each week. (So btw thank you for reading this post!)
I’d always set these huge goals, though, and then never know how to achieve them… so, of course, every year just felt like an epic fail.
The thing is, I know I can achieve goals. Even hard ones. I mean, I moved halfway across the country on purpose to live someplace where I couldn’t just run to family when things get hard, but would have to actually sit down and figure out myself… so, yeah, I can do hard things. I can achieve those big, lofty goals.
But only those goals I’m really invested in… only the ones that already tie into the life I’m trying to create for myself…
Like my exercise goals. In years past, I’d set a goal that I’m going to walk 2 miles every day around the track! And then, I’d go to the gym every day, and walk 2 miles. And if I didn’t go to the gym, or if I didn’t walk the full 2 miles each day, then I failed at that goal.
Well, with fibromyalgia, some days I can’t walk 2 miles. But I still want to move every day. The problem was, I’d fixate on the 2 miles, and I’d make that the goal… and then if I can’t do the full distance, why bother to walk at all? And I’d use that kind of reasoning to talk myself out of achieving a lot of goals, because I always thought it had to be all or nothing.
And then there’s also goals like, “Make $1 million on Substack.”
Like… okay…
It might be possible… but I don’t honestly know even where to begin… meaning, I’d write goals like that in the past, and they’d never make it off the page because I don’t even know what action to take to move in that direction.
(So, I wonder if those were like, empty goals? Kind of like empty promises — like I say I want to achieve it but really, I knew I’m not ever going to… but it sounds really exciting! So maybe I tell everybody I wanna do it just so I’ll sound exciting… but really, I know I’m not even gonna start…)
Anyway, I decided this year, I’m gonna let all that stuff go, and I’m gonna start with, “What do I actually want, and what do I believe is possible?” Like I don’t even want to start with goals… just with a general kind of, “where do I wanna focus my attention this year?”
Like, what’s really important to me and what are the areas that I know need attention this year?
And what I decided is, for me, the areas I want to focus on are: worship, health, finances, personal development, and relationships.
I want those areas of my life to improve in 2025. And I want to use that as the basis for whatever specific goals I do set going forward: will pursuing that goal improve that area of my life, or not?
That seems so simple, but it’s something I’ve never done before.
I’ve always just set goals that I think will sound exciting to other people, without stopping to ask if the goal I just set was exciting me… (and maybe that’s part of the problem too — I’m not setting goals for “me,” I’m setting them to please other people… and maybe that’s why I don’t achieve them).
Maybe, I don’t actually know how to set goals as well as I think I did…
So, tell me: how do you set your goals? What is your process (and how well does it work?)
I’m dying to learn a new way of doing this.
Michael, I don't recall any year when I set goals on paper. I agree that most people quickly give up on their New Year resolutions. The second Friday of January is known as "Quitter's Day" and is considered the benchmark for how long resolutions last.
Now, in retirement, I have some overarching principles:
FAMILY — although around 200 miles away in Pennsylvania, we frequently visit my mother-in-law, who is 90 years old. See extended family at least once a year, usually for Thanksgiving.
HEALTH — Eat better by reducing our intake of red meat. I keep my weight under what my driver's license says and exercise frequently. For my wife, that's walking in the neighborhood several times a week; for me, it's playing pickleball at twice a week.
TRAVEL — In addition to visiting family, I take four major vacations with my wife. Our current yearly schedule includes a week or more of vacation around mid-March, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day.
I asked Google, and its AI response was:
Forbes Health Survey
A 2023 survey found that only 6% of the 1,000 U.S. adults who set a New Year's resolution kept it past the year.
Citizen-Statesman
A survey found that only 22% of respondents followed their resolution by the end of three months, and only 2% were still following it by the end of seven months.
Sundried Survey
A survey found that 43% of people expect to give up their goal after just one month.
The type of goals set can also influence how long they last. According to a study published by PLoS One, approach-oriented goals (such as "I will exercise at least three times a week") are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals ("I will not eat junk food").
Many successful people I learn from have chosen a "Word of the Year".
Like you, I have been overwhelmed by "goals" in the past, and so this year, decided not to set any, and just ride the waves. Then I saw this idea, and immediately chose my word. I am motivated to move forward doing this one thing for this year. We'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll add a word in July. Who knows?
Whatever your desires for the year, I wish you peace and Godspeed.